Butter on a bald monkey

I have decided that I will electronically bombard my husband with cheesy pick-up lines.

Fun times are bound to occur.

Woot!

My first shall be:

I love the way you move, like butter on a bald monkey.


I'm not entirely sure what it means, but it's funny.

Well, ma'am, you're an idiot.

Here is a conversation that I just had with a woman here at work.

I tried to explain medications that left her dog here for like 2 weeks. I told her that this particular medication was to be given as needed when the dog started coughing.

Her response: What does that mean?
Me - (thinking what I just said was pretty self explanatory): When he starts coughing, give him one of these pills.
Her: Do dogs cough?Me (mentally slamming my head into the wall): Yes.
Her: Well, how do I know when he's coughing?
Me: He'll physically cough. And he'll make noise. If you're around him and he's doing it, you'll know.
Her: Is that what that hacking sound he does is?
Me: Yes. (Still trying to maintain my composure.)
Her: Oooh. I would've never thought that dogs can cough.


Welcome to my world.....